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Your author for this post is kseverny.
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Ok time to post my entry into Jingles poetry rally.
Now for those who aren’t aware burlesque poetry is a poem where you put a humorous edge on a serious issue.
So please dont be offended if it appears a bit unkind or cruel.
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Plantations weep.
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Argggh, no get off me.
I just want to study, don’t make me go work in the plantations again.
Please daddy they’re horrible to me.
The slavemaster can’t keep his aggressive hands off me.
I tired of the beatings they bestow on me.
“WORK BOY, WORK”
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I ran away and they damn near caught me.
But i nearly got trampled as they ran over me.
Cos the noses thought they were higher than me.
Well they were, I’m only 8 years old.
Starved and deprived, i’m just skin and bones.
Can’t you see this labour it takes it toll?
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Listen boy, do you want us to starve?
Do you want your little sister to die of a malnourished heart?
Don’t you think that your sacrifice is a small price to pay.
So that this family can thrive and live this way?
We’ve produced dozens like you.
So honour our deal and see it through.
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The father chased the son out into the open land.
He flew with the support of a loving gods hand.
Lions and hyenas stalked him as he moved
To a town far away filled with promise anew.
What chance does a boy have in this horrid slum.
So hid in a crate, to England he’s come.
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Ages ago i read about African families who sell their children to slave masters in the cocoa plantations.
For me it talks of the cruelty and evil that exists not just in the plantations.
But the families that essentially breed slave children.
I don’t think i made a comedy out of this issue.
I’not even sure thats possible.
But i hope i put a humourist slant on how the story is told.
Thanks for reading.
And please feel free to tell me what you think
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And thankyou jingle for this award.
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I will pass on my nomination after i’ve gone through the list.
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Ok, my late nomination will go to.
drumroll…………………
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http://wordsbywayne.wordpress.com/
Posted by Monarc7 on August 23, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Scratch that man.
You did a good job. And I agree, you didn’t really make it humorous enough. Don’t worry man, you want to go there, I’m right by you. After all, there’s ridiculous in everything.
Perhaps, we can do one. That way maybe, you can go there farther.
Posted by Artswebshow on August 24, 2010 at 12:09 am
Thanks,
I cant really know what i’m talking about on this issue.
But i suppose if i was scared to tackle such issues.
I’d never really move forward in my art.
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We sure can, burlesque. same theme?
Posted by Monarc7 on August 23, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Well, looking at my picture, I ain’t happy at all!
Posted by fiveloaf on May 18, 2010 at 4:10 pm
humour amidst harsh stiffness- wonderful job buddy!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 18, 2010 at 4:16 pm
sometime the two together can really work.
But it has potential to fail with disasterous consequences. lol
Posted by jruthkelly on May 16, 2010 at 4:15 pm
the humourist slant deepens the tragedy effectively here. a beauty…
Posted by Artswebshow on May 16, 2010 at 10:51 pm
thankyou very much ruth
Posted by Walker on May 15, 2010 at 2:46 am
Dude, I love this! And the last two lines just rocks.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 15, 2010 at 7:55 am
wow, thankyou walker
Posted by Anna on May 14, 2010 at 1:34 am
this is a very powerful story & I like your use of dialogue
Posted by Artswebshow on May 14, 2010 at 1:54 am
thankyou very much anna
Posted by Ji on May 13, 2010 at 7:49 pm
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/the-celebrate-poet-of-april-award-announcement-for-nomination/
Please feel free to nominate fellow poets for April Celebrate Poetry award.
Many thanks!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:47 pm
sure thing
Posted by opoetoo on May 13, 2010 at 4:01 pm
it works.
you always make it work
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Thankyou, you always gift encouragement.
Posted by dustus on May 13, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Your use of humor adds levity to tragedy. This poem displays skillful lines.
Posted by dustus on May 13, 2010 at 3:45 pm
…as all your poetry does.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:46 pm
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:45 pm
wow, i take that as a huge compliment coming from yourself
Posted by artbythepaintedbrush on May 13, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Excellent poem you have written, I saw a show on T.V. only a couple of years ago where little children didn’t even see the light of the day at all, working in a factory 12-14hours a day, in Asia somewhere. At least they were exposed. I think too many people still don’t realise it goes on.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:45 pm
thanks,
So many are not exposed but the only way this can be stopped is through a global effort.
And too many people have too much to gain for that to be possible in my lifetime.
Posted by trisha on May 13, 2010 at 2:24 pm
dear richard,
its a beautiful tribute to innocent children who are sold out by poverty as slave. its a horrible and still practiced demonic thing. only the slavemasters have change.
the very thought of it freezes my soul.
beautiful post, thanks for sharing it.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:42 pm
The film blood diamond got me thinking.
Aline from that film went like this.
“people back home wouldn’t buy a ring if they knew it would cost someone their hand”
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That line resonated through me.
And it’s also so true.
Would be buy a jar of cheap coffee if we knew it would cost someone their childhood.
Posted by trisha on May 18, 2010 at 2:58 pm
i have seen that movie. its scary. really scary to think the hell through which africans go.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 18, 2010 at 3:20 pm
True, true.
I really cuts to the core of the emotions felt in africa
Posted by petemarshall1 on May 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm
excellent meter, excellent verse, excellent story, excellent words, hey….an excellent poem…one of the best I’ve read this week….cheers Pete
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 11:39 pm
wow, thankyou very much pete
Posted by lesliepaints on May 13, 2010 at 5:22 am
Well done Kseverny. I am totally glad the boy escaped! Keep writing, for sure!!!!!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 8:43 am
thanks.
I’ll be tackling a few issues this way in the future
Posted by moondustwriter on May 13, 2010 at 1:14 am
I think you did a wonderful job. i agree it would be difficult to make it truly comedic but give it that humorous edge
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 1:45 am
thankyou.
It seemed to work.
which gives me confidence
Posted by wordsbyleena on May 12, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Wow. Impressive writing. Enjoyed reading it.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 12:52 am
thankyou very much
Posted by brian on May 12, 2010 at 11:09 pm
nicely done…the humor only highlights for me the depravity…
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:29 pm
thankyou brian.
That means it succeeded.
thats great to hear
Posted by Doraz on May 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm
I love all of the creative work you do sooo easily. Very talented are you! Cute award. I love the birds. I happen to have three of them.
Have a great day and be sure to eat some of that delicious food for me. 
lol
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:27 pm
lol. thankyou. lol.
What are their names?
Posted by mairmusic on May 12, 2010 at 9:26 pm
You have written a history lesson in poetry here– I can’t imagine how you thought of it. Nicely done!
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:26 pm
thankyou very much
But this ain’t no history lesson.
This is happening TODAY.
Posted by Jannie Funster on May 12, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Oh my dear god, this touched me deeply. I have an 8-year-old. To think of her being enslaved — or any child in this position infuriates me.
You told this well, hard to read. But life is not always pretty, and this needs to have light shed on it.
Thank you.
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:25 pm
It does indeed need to be exposed.
They world needs to pull together and refuse to trade with these nations.
Its interesting how a lot of coffee shop franchises seem to be turning to fair trade brands, that’s a start.
Posted by Hadassah on May 12, 2010 at 4:26 pm
This is very good. Such an aweful practice, and you took us to a place..a place that might have been a real conversation at the time. I felt this poem.
Posted by Kaoki Shiki on May 12, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Cool poem.
Is this some kind of contest?
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Thanks
not as such.
more like a forum
Posted by shakira on May 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm
Honestly, I really like this.. I am very impressed…
It is dry humored but I can so feel the irony and inhumanity.
BRAVO!
You amazed me…
Mine is here
Happy Sensational Wednesday!
hugs
shakira
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 3:23 pm
thankyou shakira.
I do have a very dry sense of humuor so i’m glad that came out in this.
I’ll pop by in about …………. 8 hours.
Looking forward to it already
Posted by shakira on May 12, 2010 at 5:27 pm
My dear Richard,
You are such a creative writer so I am TAGGING YOU.. please go to Wordy Wednesday @Tara Miller Writes to write the next 1-3 lines to a story yet told! Once you have done that, please TAG others too. Take care of you! hugs shakira
Just so you know..I truly LOVE the TWIST you always cooked up…
CHEERS!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:21 pm
thanks. lol.
I’ve made my contribution to wordy wednesday, hope you enjoy
Posted by shakira on May 12, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Richard, actually did you know I also have a wordpress?
http://justmeshakira.wordpress.com
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 11:22 pm
I did but i didn’t think you used it as your principal blog
Posted by Jingle on May 12, 2010 at 2:38 pm
No problem.
for my account,
it is easy,
choose Name/URL,
simply type in your name,
and include or leave it out,
submit.
super easy!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 3:21 pm
I’ll be sure to do so.
I’ll be checking out the list in my tonight.
I have some things i need to get done at the moment.
Posted by Jingle on May 13, 2010 at 1:37 am
enjoy the evening!
I know you have visited all poets last week,
best wishes!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 13, 2010 at 1:47 am
thanks.
Just finished for tonight.
I made a good dent.
I’ll catch the rest later
time for my customary 4 hours survival sleep. lol.
Posted by Thursday Poets Rally Week 18 (May 13-19, 2010) | Jingle on May 12, 2010 at 2:07 pm
[...] Artswebshow:http://artswebshow.com/2010/05/12/burlesque-poetry-titled-plantations-weep-jingles-rally-entry/ [...]
Posted by Jingle on May 12, 2010 at 2:04 pm
fabulous poem,
it reads like a conversation,
life is full of wonders,
and you have portrayed the emotions very beautifully and convincingly!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Thankyou,
Posted by Jingle on May 12, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Please nominate a poet for the perfect poet award week 18,
display the logo if you wish!
many thanks!
Posted by Artswebshow on May 12, 2010 at 2:18 pm
done